The Currency of Compliments

"Good job! Nice shot! Oh, nice try Cindy! Good job Lauren! You got this Ali!" I cheered my teammates through warm ups, drills, and scrimmage. It was fresh/soph basketball, and I wanted to show as much enthusiasm as possible. In hindsight, I'm not sure if it was that I wanted people to feel loved, or if I wanted to be liked, or both, but for whatever reason, every effort of every teammate was accompanied with some sort of positive accolade from me. And finally, my teammate had had enough. "Don't say anything about my shot. I don't want your comments." I was crushed; how could such an unfeeling person shoot down my efforts to show kindness?

The answer is in the currency of compliments. In those few months of practice my compliment currency had inflated like the Icelandic Krona until it was worth nothing to my teammate. In fact, she found it to be offensive - the currency had been so overused that it to her had reached a negative value of insincerity.

Since that experience I've been able to lower my compliment circulation and add value back into my currency. But I hope that I can find that balance of praising where praise is due while still maintaining the sincerity of the comment. And one last shout out to my high school teammate - Good job, Lauren, for recognizing that quality, not volume, makes a person feel validated.